I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
