Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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