so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i was born a porn star she said
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
