that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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