i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
