is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
