He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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