even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
