take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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