bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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