If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
