That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
