It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
