I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
