i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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