Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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