I CAN MOONWALK!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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