i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
