You made me cry and you don't even care
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
