You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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