He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
