I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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