By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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