road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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