she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
