happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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