i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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