Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
where are you?
Hypothermia
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Congratulations! We have a period
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