...so i touched it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
