She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
