i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
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