i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
