the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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