guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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