We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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