I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
