As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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