Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
