then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
