Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
