my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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