OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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