We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
