this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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