So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
