yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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