no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
