Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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