I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
