Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
