I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
