I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
