He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
